« Previous | Next »
Poo: You knew it was going to come up at some point…
Published on 17/04/08
by Maureen
I did not seek this out. It came up on the side of the gmail when I opened my CARA newsletter. I swear.
But now that it’s come up…
I think most people who have run more than ten miles have at some point had that “Oh, God, I have to stop running or I’m going to crap my shorts” moment. The last time I had it I was (luckily?) within about a third of a mile of a construction site with a port-o-potty. I made it. It was touch and go there for a while.
The catch is that you need to get somewhere appropriate to take a dump as fast as possible. But if you keep running you’re going to aggrevate the problem, which could end badly. I find the best option is to walk fast. And try to think about anything but shit. Which is hard when you’re clenching your cheeks together so hard it feels like you’re trying to hold a dollar bill in your crack.
If you can accomplish that, plan to stay in the bathroom for a good ten minutes. You never know when you’re going to hit another wave. And hold your breathe. Your already smell like sweat and feet and armpit, you’re not going to be making it any better. When you finish, don’t stop moving; walk around until you recover the feeling in your intestines and then start running, or if you’re finished with the run, rest, but try to avoid laying down.
So the article above recommends some ways to avoid being gross, like I am on occassion. Don’t eat two hours before. Don’t eat high fat foods. Don’t eat high fiber foods (beans, bran, fruit, salad.) Don’t eat foods with sugar substitutes. Don’t consume caffeine or hot fluids. No milk.
Wow. I think that encompasses almost everything I consume in a day. Which basically means the only way for me to avoid it is to run before I eat anything. The funny thing is, that’s when it seems to be the worst. My poo problems have subsided since I started doing my long runs after work, and I consume caffeine like it’s going out of style at my high-stress journalism job. Besides, going out to eat at lunch pretty much contains two options in Chicago: high fat or salad.
The last part of the article recommends gradually increaing mileage until your issue goes away. Maybe that’s what has helped me. I decreased greatly last fall after the Chicago distance classic, but I’m back up to about 13.5 miles on Sundays or Mondays. I still have a passing-out-on-the-couch issue, but I no longer have to give the all-clear before I make the sprint to the john after a long run.
The one other recommendation that I can make: Poop first. Mom had it right: You should have gone before you left home.
The run is over. Now what?
Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.